What the Bible Says to Fathers

1. Have a God-centered vision for your children.
What do you ultimately hope to accomplish through being a Father? For many, it is simply survive. Do what needs to be done to get them through school, keep them out of as much trouble as possible, and send them off into the world. From there, help them through any crisis that comes up, which is hopefully never. For others, the goal may be to help them get into and succeed in a top level college so they can have a great career. For others, the goal is to see them become a great athlete or highly successful in some other area. What defines "success" as a father for you? The Bible calls on us to have God glorifying goals in every area of life. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Specifically about raising children, the Bible says, "Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them" (Psalm 127:3-5). Saying children are like "arrows" means that they are one of the greatest weapons God gives us in achieving our main goal in life, bringing glory to God. Our first priority, what drives us to do what we do as Fathers, must be that we lead our children to love God and his Word.

2. Be the Authority Figure in Their Life.
The Bible tells children, "obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." This says something to children and parents. God has placed children under our authority. This means we are responsible for how are children are raised and what kinds of rules they must follow. Children need parents, and especially fathers, to set and enforce godly rules in the home and in life. This is a job that cannot be delegated to others. You are the one primarily responsible to require godly behavior in the home, school, and church. Certainly you work with others when your children are not directly under your supervision, but children need to know that  their parents are in charge.

3. "Fathers, do not exasperate your children" (Ephesians 6:4).
Fathers need to discipline their children. However, discipline is different from forcing good behavior. Especially when children are young, yelling and threatening are effective tools to get your children to stop disobeying- at least temporarily. But this is not actually leading them to long-term, good behavior. This is setting the stage for a "rebellious" teenager, one who reaches the age where anger, yelling, and threats are no longer effective, and true training has not taken place. Parents need to set clear rules for their children. They need to explain why the rules are there. Then they need to enforce them consistently. The temptation is to only enforce rules when the parent is in a bad mood and the behavior is really bothering them. Discipline should be motivated out of a long term desire to help your children develop godly habits, not a lashing out in anger.

4. "Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).
Discipline should not only be reactive against bad behavior, but proactive in teaching good behavior. One of the most important things you can do with your children is read the Bible and pray with them. Explain what different passages in Scripture say to you. Model a heart of obedience to the Word of God. When a child does require discipline for misbehavior, use that as an opportunity to give good teaching, not merely carry out a punishment.


Trust the Bible is a weekday radio program that begins at about 8:10 each morning on WDOG 93.5 in Allendale, SC. Each program seeks to grow your confidence that the Bible is true and the ultimate resource for life. You can listen to previous programs online here: http://www.fairfaxfbc.org/trust-the-bible.html

Prayer

Prayer, and more specifically praying biblically, is essential to success in life. I know this because true success comes from carefully obeying the Bible's teachings (Joshua 1:8) and the Bible frequently commands prayer, teaches about praying, and offers commendable examples of prayer.

Yet prayer creates perhaps the greatest collision between trusting our own thoughts and trusting the Bible. Does the God who made the universe really listen to my prayers? Doesn't God always work in a way that will best accomplish his purposes and plans, and if so, how could my feeble requests change what God will do?

Let's say I'm driving down the interstate in the middle of nowhere. I am almost out of gas. A sign says that the next exit is five miles away. I know that I can just barely make it five more miles before running out completely. I start talking to God, asking him, "Please, let there be a gas station there!" Now, does that make any sense? Let's assume God isn't going to instantly make a gas station appear out of thin air, complete with an employee to work the cash register (a pretty safe assumption). In that case, the gas station I am praying for is either already there, or it isn't.

God could have worked in the past to ensure that a gas station would be there. He may have even done so because he knew the future and knew that at this moment, I would need one to be there. He probably wouldn't do so simply for my convenience. Why would I ever be responsible to keep gas in my car if I knew that anytime I was about to run out, God would make sure I would get to a gas station in time? No, he would have done so because it was ultimately for the good, it fit into his plan.

But, what does my praying now for a gas station to be there have to do with God's decision (which he had already made)? In reality, all prayer faces this problem because God has always known everything about the future, what he will do, and what is best for him to do. Even if I am making a request about something more serious that is for the future, such as "Please keep my Grandmother safe during tomorrow's surgery," doesn't God already know what the right decision is before I pray for it?

Of course, there is an answer to this question, even if we don't know what it is, because the Bible teaches us to pray. I think much of it has to do with how God's sovereign control over all things is true while it is also true that God has made creatures with free will. Our ability to change anything at all makes little since if free will is not real. See http://trustthebible.blogspot.com/2016/04/do-i-have-free-will-or-is-god-in.html

God could have made a world in which he always did what was right regardless of what any human said about it in prayer. However, God decided it would be better to allow humans to have input into his decisions through prayer. He made this decision knowing what free humans would pray in the future and exactly which prayers he would answer favorably.

So saying "God always knows and does what's best," is only a problem for prayer if the "best" world that could exist didn't have meaningful prayer in it. By meaningful prayer, I mean prayer that humans can choose to offer that actually leads God to change circumstances. So, one possible world God could have created would have no meaningful prayer. God would simply always do what he knows to be best. The other possible world is one in which there is meaningful prayer. The world with meaningful prayer would have disadvantages, namely, that God would sometimes act in the best way possible only when people pray. However, there may be advantages to this system that outweigh the disadvantages. Consider the possible advantages to having a world with meaningful prayer:

1. Meaningful prayer motivates people to talk to God and develop a relationship with him. If prayer could not actually change our circumstances, we may be less likely to spend time talking to him.

2. Meaningful prayer helps us appreciate what God does more. We have to come to him and ask him. Anyone applying for a scholarship sees this principle at work. An organization could simply send a check, but the application process for most scholarships helps the applicant think more appreciatively about who is giving the money.

3. Meaningful prayer guards us from trusting in ourselves. Jesus tells us to pray for "our daily bread." Meaning we need to ask daily for God to supply our basic needs. We can do nothing or even take another breath apart from God. Prayer helps us see that.

The Bible tells us that prayer is real and is something we should do. Praying will lead God to change our circumstances. God has decided that in some cases he will only act in the best way when we pray. The consequences of this decision are not as great as the advantages gained by acting on the basis of prayer. So, let us pray! Jesus taught that praying with many words, or praying to impress others is not helpful. We should pray directly to God, calling him "Father." The first priority of our prayers is for God's glory and will to be done (See Matthew 6:6-13).

One key to prayer is recognizing our need for God. Think about when you pray. You pray when you need something. If you have no needs, you will not pray. You pray for health most when you have a health problem. You pray for financial help most when you have a particular financial difficulty. And you will pray for God's glory when you need God to be glorified. The fact is, we all need all of these things all the time. But we pray when we sense our needs. One of the things prayer does is to develop our sense of need for God to act, the very thing that will lead us to pray more! May God help us have a greater sense of need for him and an urgency to pray.


Trust the Bible is a weekday radio program that begins at about 8:10 each morning on WDOG 93.5 in Allendale, SC. Each program seeks to grow your confidence that the Bible is true and the ultimate resource for life. You can listen to previous programs online here: http://www.fairfaxfbc.org/trust-the-bible.html