Forgiveness

Luke 17:3-4: "So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

Imagine if everyone put this into practice with every wrongdoing. Broken relationship would be restored. Divorce rates would be a thing of the past. Life would be marked by strong friendships and rewarding family relationships.

The Bible gives us the teaching we need to make this possible. The key is repentance and forgiveness. Clearly these words mean more than simply voicing "I am sorry," or, "I forgive you." They represent deep promises that are difficult to make.

So, what are these promises? A person who repents admits they were wrong. They wish that they hadn't done what they did. They are pledging to make changes so that they do not repeat the behavior, and they will even take steps to make up for the hurt they have caused if it is possible.

If someone carelessly speeds down the road in your little neighborhood and hits your cat, killing him, they should repent. Simply saying, "I'm sorry," in a casual way and then continuing as if nothing has happened (including continuing to speed) would not be true repentance. Neither would saying, "I'm sorry I killed your cat, but you shouldn't have let him wander around in the road like that." Using words like "but," and "if," in an apology turn your confession into an opportunity to excuse your behavior. True repentance says, "I'm sorry I was careless when I was driving and I killed your cat. I was wrong, and will make sure it doesn't happen again. Please forgive me. Is there anything I can do to help you in any way, such as pay for vet and adaption bills for a new cat?

Repentance is hard because we feel shame when we do wrong. Shame makes us want to avoid the person we have offended or excuse our behavior because of pride. We don't want to acknowledge that we aren't the good people we want to believe we are. Repentance requires humility.

Similarly, forgiveness is hard. It costs the one forgiving. It is a promise to let go of angry thoughts and actions against the one who has sinned. It is a promise to no longer hold the hurtful thing they have done against them. You now want to have a good relationship that is not damaged by the thing they have done. You will not bring it up again with others, or them, or even yourself in your thoughts. Forgiveness does not merely say, "I forgive you for running over my cat," and then complain to the other neighbors about the person's hazardous driving. Nor does it say, "I forgive you, but I don't really want to see you or talk with you anymore, I'm going to start avoiding you." Forgiveness is a gift to the other person that stops the offense from hurting your relationship.

How can we give forgiveness again and again, when it is so costly to the one forgiving? The Bible says this is where we must focus on the cross. God offers us forgiveness for every sin, if we repent. Since we have been given so much, we must happily give some of that forgiveness to others. In other words, we don't give out of our own resources or generosity, but out of what we have been freely given by God. Jesus taught us to pray, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

Although it is hard, imagine how much better your life would be if you had already been doing this- repenting when you do wrong and forgiving when someone wrongs you. God asks you first to repent of your own sins and ask for his forgiveness. He gladly gives it and the cost is paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. Once you have experienced God's forgiveness, go and forgive those who have sinned against you.

For more information on these topics visit, http://peacemaker.net/.

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